The Secret is Out!

So here’s the real reason why things have been more quiet than ever before in the last 6 months.

Our IVF journey was one that moved at breakneck speed, and we barely had time to breathe.

I’m 12 weeks and 4 days pregnant now and the last 6 weeks have been especially rough in terms of nausea and tiredness so blogging has blogging has been the last thing I’ve felt like doing!

Anyway, I’m feeling loads better now and the secret is out. Hopefully this might mean less massive gaps between blog posts (but no promises, I’ve made that mistake before!)

Hope everyone is well x

Life Lately- a new kind of normal?

Dress: Pull and Bear | Shoes: Primark

I’m giving up on making promises of regular blog posts, whilst I still enjoy having and updating this space on the internet I have come to realise I don’t need it as much as I used to. Back when I started it, when I was in the deepest, darkest days of my life, through the rollercoaster few years right up until I met Bob this place was my link to the world, my place where I could be heard and connect with people. It got me through some really tough times and presented me with some amazing opportunities. I’m sad in some ways that I no longer have the time and headspace to keep up with daily, or even weekly posts, yet happy to be letting go, to finally be in that place where “real life” is enough. I’m not giving up completely, there is always going to be the regular features as well as hopefully some wedding related posts, and looking forward, hopefully some family ones too. Even if that wasn’t the case I think I’d be stepping back now anyway, the blogging world has changed beyond recognition and I no longer feel I have a place in the centre of it (and I’m 100% ok with that).

Life lately has been chaotic and confusing for everyone and I’m definitely feeling it more now than ever. During the peak of Covid-19 I was so frantically busy and exhausted from work that I didn’t really register how much life had changed for me- and actually, it didn’t really change that much. I worked 9-5, shopped for essentials when I had to, so whilst I did have lockdown to contend with and the isolation from friends and loved ones I did at least have routine.

As restrictions ease I find it’s hitting me more now. Work has slowed right down. We can go about our daily business with a little more freedom. I’ve been on a socially distanced picnic with friends, I can see my family, I’ve had my nails done with hair to follow and Bob and I are planning a camping trip in a couple of weeks. With all of this has come a greater feeling of unease. Is this the right thing? Should I be going out/away. Do I really need to leave the house? I’m making the most of the freedom but it isn’t half causing some conflict!

Conflict aside, I’m happy. Ridiculously happy in a way I thought I never could be. I’m the healthiest mentally and physically that I have been in my entire adult life. I’m planning my wedding to my absolute soul mate (432 days to go!) and I have a job I enjoy, a roof over my head and an all round happy and contended and comfortable life- for which I am eternally grateful.

I’m not sure what the point of this post is other than to share some photos of a pretty dress, our somewhat more up together garden (like many, lockdown has given us a drive to take pride in our garden!) and explain, largely to myself why I find myself blogging less and less. I still want to do it, but on my terms with no pressure. I already feel more at ease with it all having written this post, so despite being a disjointed tangle of words it has served some kind of purpose.

I think I’ve forgotten how to blog.

Dress: Miss Selfridge

You may recognise this dress from a previous wish list post…and lucky me, my Mum treated me to it (FYI, it’s on sale for just £20 now!)

I knew instantly that I wanted to photograph it for the blog, getting back in to outfit photos on a regular basis is something that has been on my agenda for a long time, but quite honestly, I think I have forgotten how to do it!

Shoes c/o Pretty Little Thing

Whereas once posing for photos came pretty naturally, now I do it so infrequently that I just do not know what to do with myself and I find myself feeling incredibly self conscious even thought it’s just Bob and I (with the occasional interruption from Pablo).

Practice makes perfect though right? I really do need to make more of an effort to keep this up. There’s so many things I want to do with the blog, but it seems like I’ve lacked the get up and go to do them. I used to take such pride in keeping this place up to date and looking good, but then I fell in to the “I’m not good enough” slump and it just never happened.

I’m slowly starting to shift that attitude though, not just in terms of blogging, but in life in general. I’ve let insecurity get in my way for as long as I can remember, but finally, at the age of 32 I realise enough is enough.

That being said, if any one has any ideas for the blog, for how to pose for photos, or for how to stop giving a shit about what other people may or may not be thinking then I would be most grateful because I don’t have a whole lot of faith in my own ideas.

Ace the Races with PrettyLittleThing*

It’s been a very long time since a brand approached me about a clothing collaboration so I was more than a little bit excited when PrettyLittleThing got in touch about styling up some race day worthy outfits. I’ve never been to the races myself but have seen plenty of coverage from those who have and I had my own idea of the kind of style I’d like to sport- PrettyLittleThing have everyone covered though with a huge selection and my toughest choice was narrowing my selection down! In the end I picked two outfits that I feel wouldn’t be out of place at even the grandest of race days, I’d love to know what you think and what you’d have picked.

Dress | Shoes both c/o PrettyLittleThing

I fell in love with the retro vibe of this chocolate brown midi dress instantly, the sleeve detail is so unique and it hangs beautifully. I wouldn’t usually go for such a delicate shoe but I love how the rose gold looks with this outfit, and despite having to size up in the shoes (hello wide feet woes) they are a lot more comfortable than they look.

Dress | Shoes | Bag all c/o PrettyLittleThing

This emerald green dress is unlike anything I have ever owned before and I was in two minds about picking it as I wasn’t sure a plunging neckline would be my friend. Thankfully it worked, although a bit more in the boobs department might have helped! I was taken by the tied cuff details and the wrap around effect, I kept shoes more subtle this time as the dress is far more revealing than anything I usually wear, and I couldn’t resist adding in this little marabou feather clutch bag for a finishing touch.
Have you ever been to the races before? As a complete novice, how did I do with my outfit selections?

My Vaping Journey (part one)

It’s been a little over a month since I started my journey in to serious vaping with a little (lot) of help from my friends at e-cigarette direct. Quitting smoking has been high on my agenda once more, and something I have had in my mind as something I would do as soon as I felt my anorexia recovery was complete.

Well, my recovery isn’t quite complete, but my motivation was high, so I gratefully accepted the opportunity to pick out some kit and wean myself off cigarettes- hopefully for good this time.

Tank wise, I got Bob to help me pick out a good set-up as he’s also joining me on this journey and has a lot more experience of vaping than I do. We decided on the Wismec CB80* which is designed to give an experience as close to smoking a cigarette as possible as I knew this is what I would struggle with the most. We also picked out two different types of coils* so we could see which I preferred.

Getting the kit set up was super simple, and it looks and feels substantial whilst remaining lightweight and portable enough to come with me where ever I go. Another big plus for the tank I chose was that it charges via USB as well as supporting rechargeable batteries, meaning I am less likely to run out of power, and therefore reach for a cigarette.

Picking which vape juice to choose was another minefield. There are so many flavours and strengths available that I just did not know where to start. In the end, after consulting with Bob we decided to jump in with some high strength nicotine as although I didn’t smoke that many cigarettes (between 5 and 10 a day) we thought starting high and weaning down would be our best bet, and it meant that Bob, a heavier smoker than I was, could share.

These little bottles of juice are great for carting around on the go and means you don’t get stuck on one flavour consistently. As you can see, I’m definitely attracted to the sweet flavours! Vampire Vape’s Heisenberg was hands down my favourite though.

In terms of juices I’ve found I much prefer shortfills, I thought they would be more complicated as you have to mix them up yourself, but I think they represent better value for money, and I’ve generally found the flavour experience much better (and you can make it up as strong, or weak as you like). I’ve been spoilt really though as I was sent the set of Gloop shortfill which I reviewed a few weeks ago, and I have another bunch just arrived to try out and review (coming soon!).

I can’t fault the service, or value provided from e-cigarette direct, and I find their website, and blog a really valuable resource when it comes to learning more. This infographic around vape juice is definitely worth a read if you’re looking to learn more!

I guess the big question here though is how am I doing?

Well, in all honesty, I’m not quite there yet. I still find myself wanting the feel of an actual cigarette and I am still caving in, albeit much less than I used to. The savings are clear to see on a financial level, and I resent paying out now for even one packet a week. Today is actually the day where I feel ready to say “no more” and just stop buying the damn things. Everything about the vaping experience is better, apart from the fact it feels so big and clunky at times. But I need to learn to live with that, and so I will.

Whilst I certainly don’t intend for my blog to become solely focused on vaping you will find a couple more reviews coming up, and a progress update on how I’m doing in a few weeks time.

Now I’ve moved house and I am settled in I’ll be looking to return to blogging in a way I haven’t for quite some time. I’m looking forward to getting back in to the swing of outfit photos, general life musings and updates, wish lists, food, you name it, I’m probably gonna cover it. I’ve felt detached from the blogging world for some time now, not sure if I still fitted in, and during that time away from it I’ve realised that really, it doesn’t matter. This is my place to say, and share what I want to say and share. The fact I’ve had such fantastic opportunities, that any one even bothers to read it, is just one big old happy bonus.

All products in this post were sent to me free of charge. All opinions, and decision to post are mine and mine alone.